4/17/25 - Creative Life Chapter - The Artist's Dilemma

 4/17/25

Most people who experience the creative "spark" so to speak, will often hear the praise from their peers and family, but will always have the self doubt that their work is not enough, or, as good as it could or should be. 

Anyone who has had experience of either performing on stage or presenting their canvas in a gallery will undoubtedly see every flaw that is riddled within their piece, yet will smile and nod when they are complimented on their work, as if all of their feelings of self-doubt were meaningless upon receiving any sort of rebuttal to the harshness of their inner-voice... Yet it always returns.

For the last couple of years now, I've been referring to this as the "Artist's Dilemma." Knowing that your work has merit, but allowing your own mind to tear your pride to pieces. Sometimes this can be a result from our old friend, Comparison, shifting our eyes to the work of others as they whisper:

    "They're so talented... Can you do that? What's this? You can't? And you call yourself an artist?"

This is where our voice of logic should come in, if we're considering ourselves healthy:

    "Never you mind!"

The harsh critic that calls itself the inner voice is a great contributor to Imposter Syndrome, the mindset in which your start to even doubt your own credibility as an artist by doubting your work, believing that you're not good enough, despite whatever positivity surrounds you when others tell you how amazing your performance or piece is. It is a song heard from every creative person I've met. 

So what can be done?

Unfortunately, a direct cure for this Artist's Dilemma is yet to be discovered and any remedy or prescription advertised can only work for so long; however, there are many such methods within the creative life which I've experienced through trial and error that can assist in your defeat of this cruel, inner-critic.

In elementary school, there was a book I found in our basement titled Draw Real People! by Lee Hammond.  I flipped it open and began looking at the exercises. Needless to say, my attempts at drawing anatomically-correct human faces at the age of ten was... less than satisfactory. My parents, on the other hand, had the advantage of seeing it as progress, and were extremely encouraging of me to practice this skill. The introduction of new materials like Oil Pastels and charcoal were amazing to my youthful mind.

One day, I had taken a closer look at the Mona Lisa print I had in my room and was enamored that a portrait so simple could withstand hundreds of years and still be appreciated... It was that day flipped open my notepad with a black Sharpie in-hand and started making out the basics of a human face.

It sucked. I remember having a small fit to my mother, explaining how achieving any sense of fame by drawing was never going to happen in my lifetime. 

(There is a thing to say about my childhood ambitions, but that is for a different discussion entirely.)

My mother was quick to shut down my repeated insistence of "I'll never create anything famous!" and reminded me of how I was still learning. My inner-voice of self doubt was comparing my sharpie sketch to the intricately-detailed work of Leonardo Da Vinci at the age of ten. What kind of sick joke is that?

Moving on from this interaction with my mother, I have come to terms with the first strategic attack to fight the Artist's Dilemma, I call it the The Stepping Stone. The process of development as a whole.

Not just developing in your skills, but acknowledging your progress and evaluating your work fairly. Not comparing your rough sketches with the finished Saturday Evening Post paintings of Norman Rockwell. Being fair in the assessment of your own work is crucial if you truly want to learn because if you're too dissatisfied with your work to feel happiness, then what's the point of doing it? Don't jump to saying fame and fortune, as those two are never a guarantee; however, I am not of the authority to say that such an achievement is impossible.

It goes without saying that skills take time, and learning curves are not something to be cheated. You mustn't duck your head in shame when you don't start at the finish line.

The other method to battling Mr. Dilemma is this: Exercise. It is no secret that you need to push yourself to improve your craft(s). The more you find yourself challenged when working on a piece, the more relieved you will feel once you have completed it. Now, The Artist's Dilemma loves to creep in during these moments of rest, so you need to be careful.

While The Stepping Stone strategy allows you to appreciate your output as gradual improvement, challenging yourself with the Exercise principle ensures that you are actually improving, so that your development doesn't become too stationary. 

In my personal experience, Mr. Dilemma likes to reveal himself to me after I have just completed a high-effort portrait. Believe me, I have that moment of relaxation after getting it done, but if I look at my reference too quickly and see any slight imperfections, it becomes suddenly easy to never unsee those flaws again.

But this is where the Exercise strategy comes in handy- take note of what went wrong, whether it be a portrait, a wrong note or key and learn from it! Move on... Using both the Stepping Stone and Exercise strategies should allow you to not only see the improvement everyone preaches to come from practicing, but experience it and eventually knock the Artist's Dilemma down a few pegs.

There are plenty of songs out there that ease feelings of anxiety or frustration, but one in particular that I've been humming as I have been writing this chapter is "Rollin'" by Randy Newman, as the closing refrain sums up my attitude whenever I dismiss the Artist's Dilemma and head on to face my next project:

Rollin', Rollin' - ain't gonna worry no more...